BOUNDRIES & ASSERTIVENESS
“Confidence is knowing who you are and not changing it a bit because of someone’s version of reality is not your reality.”
You said yes even though you’ve said a hundred times you wouldn’t say yes again. You realize you have always been a people pleaser but never thought you’d wind up stretched so thin by saying yes to everyone and everything except yourself. When will you ever find time for yourself?
Key characteristics of poor boundaries and lack of assertiveness are:
Saying yes when deep down you want to say no
Absorbing the feelings of others
Sharing too much information with others, or being completely private
Having few relationships with emotional connections
Often feeling uncertain of what you really want, feel or think
Being unable to set limits with others, including children, siblings, parents, friends, or coworkers
Frequently feeling used or taken advantage of
You don’t need a stack of research studies to tell you that being in this situation feels miserable, causes anxiety and depression, and zaps your energy. A wise person once said to me that saying no to others is saying yes to yourself. Setting boundaries and being assertive is self-care and taking care of you is not selfish.
I can help you uncover the ways that you already set boundaries and are assertive so that you have a foundation to start from. These tools can help you reduce stress and feel better about your life. Counseling sessions are an ideal setting for practicing the tools for setting boundaries and being more assertive.
Imagine that instead of saying yes all the time, you start saying no once in a while. You notice that you start to feel less anxious about pleasing others and more peaceful because you finally have time for you. You no longer feel taken advantage of by others and instead feel able to say yes and no honestly. Call today to schedule an appointment to start working on healthy boundaries.