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Writer's pictureSusan Job-Vincenzo, MA, LPCC

What is rather than what if

One of the things I have been talking about with my clients lately is focusing on what is happening and not on what if or what might happen. When we get caught up in worry or overthinking something, oftentimes our thoughts are about what if this or that happens. These what ifs then merge with other worry thoughts like “I wish” or “why is this happening?” or “when will this stop” or should statements. Before we know it, we are caught up in a worry spiral.


Try focusing instead on what is actually happening in the moment, and it can be as simple as “woman sitting at her desk typing on the laptop”. This keeps me grounded in the moment and not getting stuck in a worry spiral about “what if I cannot think of anything to write about?”, “what if it sounds silly?”, or “I’m no good at this”.


The next time you realize you are getting caught up in worry and what if thinking is dominating your brain, try it. Say out loud or in your mind what is actually happening and see what happens next in your thoughts.


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